Saturday, April 1, 2023
HomeFitnessHow To Know If You are A Dangerous Listener, From A Therapist

How To Know If You are A Dangerous Listener, From A Therapist

An excellent listener is ready to be completely current and targeted whereas the opposite particular person is speaking. “We may be current by listening and resisting the temptation to interpret, assume, predict, or give you a reply whereas the particular person continues to be speaking,” licensed therapist Steph Tuazon, LCSW, just lately informed mbg.

To Tuazon’s level, you possibly can inform you’re not truly listening to the opposite particular person if, whereas they’re speaking, you’re additionally occupied with what you need to say in response. If you happen to’re in your head analyzing their phrases as they’re nonetheless talking—or worse, making an attempt to interrupt them to insert your personal feedback—that’s a giant signal that you just’re not listening nicely.

Why? As a result of your focus is definitely on getting your personal level throughout (or proving your level proper, or proving your associate’s level flawed), reasonably than truly understanding what’s being mentioned to you, and ensuring the speaker feels understood—the largest marks of an excellent listener.

To know should you actually perceive your associate’s level, Tuazon suggests making an attempt repeating again what you heard proper after they completed talking. If you happen to can’t repeat what they mentioned precisely, then you definately weren’t truly listening. 

One other nice check for you: After a tense dialog or argument along with your associate (or whoever), see should you can precisely clarify their perspective to a different particular person—importantly, with out your judgment, interpretation, or opinions inserted into it. Why have been they upset? What did they really say in response to particular belongings you introduced up?

“Not being current in a dialog can appear to be lacking an entire dialog,” she notes. If you happen to can’t actually give a play-by-play of their facet of the dialog, that’s a transparent signal that you just didn’t actually perceive or internalize what they mentioned—in different phrases, your listening abilities may most likely use some work.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Recent Comments